I am not what you would call computer literate.

Often times, things freeze, cancel out, or cannot be found.  (Kind of like some people I know).

Perhaps I’m not dedicated enough to the world of technology, and my computer can sense this.  New operating systems, Bluetooth, wireless hoo-ha, integrated sound cards… I care nothing about these things.  We’ve already established that I dislike the different and unexpected— but the cutting edge of the computing world relies on these two pillars.  So we’re incompatible.

The last time I went to get a new cell phone, the sweet shop girl was mystified that I would use my cell phone to exclusively make calls.  “Don’t you take pictures?” she’d queried in astonishment.

“Sure.  I have a camera for that, though.”

“Don’t you like listening to music?” was her next angle.

“Of course!  I use my radio.”

“But don’t you surf the net?” was her last desperate effort to save what she thought would have been a lucrative commission.

“All the time.  But I do that on my laptop.”

Dejected, she handed me a very un-cool , un-savvy, unadorned cell phone.  And, for the record, there was only ONE to choose from.  All the rest had bells, whistles, and apparently the option of playing video games from nine to six on weekends and holidays.

And I believe that my computer is somehow aware of that interaction.  Maybe a sleek ‘chocoberry’ internet phone made the call once we left the store.  Perhaps my little laptop was disgraced and angry from embarrassment.  Perhaps I’d really let it down.

That might be why I struggle so much.

My husband has often suggested an alternate idea.

He is certain that I give off my own EMP pulse.

And that could be it… if my boring little cell phone stops working, too. *wink*