You can actually hear the clock in the adjacent hallway ticking out each second of your life that is being wasted away.  It’s like that sarcastic bully from junior high, taunting you incessantly.


You’re still sitting there.




Bummer for you.


Too bad there’s nothing to do.



It’s sick.  Boredom.

But there are ways to survive.

There’s the old Gone-to-Hawaii-in-my-mind trick.  You may be a ‘counter’ at heart and can stimulate yourself by counting the objects in your surroundings.  If you’re tactile, knitting or filing your nails can prove to be stimulating.  My favorite people are the ‘singers’… they’re just what they sound like.  When life gets boring, out pops a show tune.  A lesser version of the ‘singer’ is the ‘hummer’.  The more annoying version (especially in the same elevator) is the ‘whistler’… still, if you whistle well…

Okay, so say you’re someplace boring that requires you to look like you are attentive (think lecture, staff meeting, or ‘watch-me-do-this-weird-twirling-trick-on-the-swing-Mommy’ time).  You could mentally distort the speaker’s face, morphing their nose into an elephant’s trunk or their ears into those of a tapir.  Don’t try this if you have a difficult time controlling your laughter (or bladder).  Try remembering the eye color of different people; begin with those you know best and work towards the checker at the grocery store.  Count your teeth using your tongue.  Squeeze your toes together in your shoe, doing reps of five seconds per squeeze.  Imagine interesting pet names for individual breeds of dogs or animal species.  Mentally replay your favorite movie, play, or skit with animals (Captain Kirk’s role is reprised by a bulldog, O’Hoora is a sleek and coifed poodle, while the ‘red shirt’ is—of course—a guinea pig).  If you’re artistically inclined, decide how you would sketch your speaker’s face—which angle would the light come from, would they be seated or standing, would they be a hero or a villain?  Oh, the choices!

So let the clock tick!

You’ve got things to do!