I am notoriously cheap… so cheap that a friend once asked where I bought my lingerie… because she and her husband were short on cash and their anniversary was approaching.  She just assumed that I bought EVERYTHING on sale.

Mortifying.

But I do love a $4 blouse or a chic pair of khakis that only set me back $12.  And how much more enjoyment there is in a brocade silk sheath that is 70% off!  C’mon now!  That’s good stuff!

Well, 3Musketeers came out with a dark chocolate mint candy bar a few years ago.  And the price for one was outrageous!  I have a fixation with dark chocolate (I’m content to eat unsweetened baker’s chocolate if it’s between that and milk chocolate M&Ms).  Mr. Anonymous would call my “fixation” an “addiction”, but that label seems both unnecessary and slightly cruel.  *Slight shake* As I was noting, 3Musketeers is supposedly a lower calorie candy.  I wanted—really wanted—to sample the new dark chocolate version.

I was too cheap to buy the silly candy bar.

Until…

Tonight our local grocer had the bars discounted for a reasonable sum.  I snatched up two with a triumphant crowing sound in the direction of my spouse.  The tag on the shelf read: Reduced for Quick Sale.  And the sale was certainly quick!

I was smug all the way home.

I was giddy all the way through dinner.

I was full of glorified self-restraint all the way through walking the dog.

I was exultant while unwrapping the sweet reward in front of my beloved’s nose.

But when my teeth could not break off the bite in my mouth from the rest of the candy bar…

Mr. Anonymous just smiled.

“Mind if I try some?” was all he asked.

I thrust the maddening disappointment at his chest.

He did manage to wrench a bit off and thoughtfully tried chewing it.

“Give me a York Peppermint Patty any day,” was his critique.

He gently handed the offensive waste of money back to me.

“Although,” he amended with a trace of merriment.  “It may have been better before it was… ah… ‘reduced for quick sale’.”

Next time, I am buying a York Peppermint Patty at full price!

I’ve learned my lesson with candy.  It’s not a deal if the goods aren’t any good!

Although, they do taste better with a coupon.

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